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GOLDEN SHOWERS BRING SCABS AND FLOWERS!

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29th October 2003

4:20pm: BIN BUZY
YEAH WELL I'VE BEEN BUZY. I PACKED UP THE TRAILER AND I MOVED TO PA WITH MY FRIEND HOOGABOO AND HIS OLD LADY JANE. I WILL MISS THE GUYS AT THE PON SHOP AND STUFF, BUT IT WAS TIME FOR OL R BOOGIE TO HIT THE ROAD. IT WILL BE GOOD FOR MY CAMPAIN. I MEAN, IF THE TREMINORTR CAN BE IN OFFICE, WHY CANT RALPH?

I THINK I AM GOING TO GO TO OHIO UNIVERSITY FOR HALLOWEEN ON FRIDAY! MY GIRL JENNA LIVES THEIR. ITS NICE TO BEA BLE TO PACK UP THE ENTIRE HOUSE AND JUST GO SOMEPLACE. I MAY TAKLE A BUS, THO.

SOW HATS UP? I HAVENT BEEN KEEPING UP BECAUSE MY WEB TV WAS PAKED AWAY AND I HAD TO GET THE FONE TURNED BACK ON. LEAVE ME A LINE, AND TAKE CARE BUDDIES

(10 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

4:11pm:

mewing.net told me that I should be

G R U N T for Halloween.


I shall be covered in corn, tapeworms, and hair

Making people ill, I'll have a fantastic time!


What should you be?

(rub my belly?)

3:59pm:
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
fingerbang goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Anna Nicole Smith's Vagina Toupee.
achbarr tricks you! You get an handful of fromunda cheese (fromunda hiz ballz!) Yes!.
alansmitheex tricks you! You get syphillis.
bobbin4penis gives you 19 red-orange cock-flavoured pieces of daddy's taffy.
derekfz tricks you! You forget where you are, and wake up with a bloody ass.
miseryintruder tricks you! You lose 15 pieces of candy and the deed to your trailer!
mr_chicken tricks you! You get beat up by Nazi hookers.
navarreankh gives you 11 white banana-flavoured hard candies and a bottle of expired Prozac, because she's very nice.
smellslikecher gives you 17 cola-flavoured pieces of beef jerky, and you fuck her daughter.
sugarshower gives you a golden shower. you break out in hives. and like it!
webbitch gives you nothing. she ate all the candy.
fingerbang ends up with some candy, and various diseases.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

(1 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

24th October 2003

1:42am:
lost_and_alone6 34%
raven 26%
webbitch 19%
simplysummer 19%
leon_phelps 16%
navarreankh 12%
skintellectual 11%
How sexually compatible with me are you?
Take the NEW sexual compatibility quiz at LJMatch!

(rub my belly?)

1:23am: SMELL MY BEEF
I MAY HAVE A HALLOWEEN PARTY. I GREW UP AS A BAPTIST, SO I WAS NEVER ALOUD TO GO TRICKERTREATIN. WHAT SHOULD I DRESS UP AS?
Current Mood: horny

(3 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

7th October 2003

4:14pm: glub glub. glub glub.

(3 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

20th September 2003

1:39am: I AM SAD ABOUT BEING BACK AT HOME. IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING I LEFT IS BACK AGAIN, AND IT MAKES ME SICK.

MAYBE I SHOULD BUY A DOG OR A CAT OR MAYBE EVEN MY OWN MIDGET.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY, SO NOW I GO BACK TO SAYING NOTHING.
Current Mood: EMOTIONAL

(3 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

14th September 2003

1:02am: WHY HELLO THEIR READERS
MY HAS IT BEEN A LONG WHILE OR WHAT?!

THINGS FOR RALPH RBOOGIE BOOGERS-OSTACHIO HAVE BEEN REALLY WEIRD. UP AND DOWN AND UP AND DOWN.

I HIT THE CAMPAIN TRAIL FOR MY PRESIDENCY ALL SUMMER LONG. I ENDED UP IN DULUTH ON AN INDIAN RESERVATION, WHERE I MET MY GIRLFRIEND. SHE DIED LAST WEEKEND AND I CAME HOME.

THE CAMPAIN IS GOING PRETTY WELL, PEOPLE SEEM TO REALLY LIKE ME. EXCEPT FOR POLICE OFFECERS.

I MAY BE GETTING A COMPUTER AT HOME, SO I MAY BE ABLE TO TALK TO YOU ON AOL.

I HAVE GAINED ABOUT 40 LBIDS OVER THE SUMMER, TOO. SO MUCH FOR SLIMMING FAST!

SO WHAT IS EVERYBODY ELSE UP TO? I MISED YOUR POSTS AND THE SUCH! LET ME KNOW WHAT'S UP! LEAVE ME A CAOOOMMENT!
Current Mood: horny

(5 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

31st July 2003

5:05pm:

My insulting name is Urinalmouth Poonudger!
What's yours?

(3 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

27th July 2003

6:09pm: OLAY!
I BOUGHT A POOL FOR MY MOBILE HOME! WHO WANTS TO RUB SOME SUNTAN LOTION ALL OVER ME? MAYBE YOU, queendiva? I SAW WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT ME, AND NOW I WANT TO BUY YOU A LIMITED EDITION LOUIS VUITTON TAKASHI MURAKAMI HANDBAG, YOU BIG SEXY THING! I DIDNT KNOW THAT PRADA MADE YOUR SIZE! THUMBS UP, BABY!

I AM NOW HAVING A MEXICAN FIESTA. I WENT TO JIM JACKS TACO SHACK AND GOT SOME FOOD, AND THEN STOPPED BY EL LICQUOR STORE-O AND GOT SOME TO-KEEL-YA :)

IT MAKES ME SAD THAT EDNAMETRIOSIS HAS BEEN SO SAD, AND THAT DEREK HAS BEEN EATING SO MUCH. BUT I KNOW HOW THAT GOES, BUDDY. SOMETIMES LIFE IS A BISCUIT, AND YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE SURFING AROUND IN IT IN A BIG, FAT GRAVY BOAT! FILLED WITH GRAVY! IT'S OK BUDDY THOUGH BECAUSE IT'S EASIER TO BE A FAT DUDE. WOMEN LIKE BIG MEN!
Read more...Collapse )

WELCOME TO achbarr, WHO LOOKS LIKE HE COULD BE MY TWIN BROTHER!

AND THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY.

-RBOOGIE.
Current Mood: MEXICAN FIESTA!

(2 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

22nd July 2003

10:10pm: WHAT A STRANGE LONG TRIP ITS BEEN!!!
WHERE HAVE I BEEN? oK I'LL TELL YOU.

SO MY BUDDY JUNIOR COMES OVER TO MY PLACE ONE NIGHT. SAYS HE'S GOT A PLAN, ABOUT GOING TO GET SOME ELECTRICAL WIRE FROM SOME GUYS UP IN CANDA. IT'LL JUST BE A 34 HOUR TRIP BY SEMI TRUCK. RIGHT. OK COOL.

SO WE GO TO CANDA, UP TO TORONTO. IN CHINKYTOWN. SO WE GET THERE, TO GET THE WIRE, AND SO WE GET IT. AND WE STOP AT A COFFEE TIME TO GET SOME DOUGHNUGHTS AND COFEE FOR THE TRIP.

LONG STORY SHORT, I ENDED UP IN A HOPSITAL IN NEBRASKA, RECOOPERATING FROM THE SARIES.

I WAS COUGHING UP BLOOD, SEEING SHIT. MAN, IT WAS UGLY. BUT I'M GREAT NOW. I GOT A SHOT, AND I'M FINE! THE GOVERNMENT SAYS THERE GONNA KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON ME, BUT THEYVE BEEN DOING THAT FOR YEARS. THAT DARN HAVING TO REGISTER EVERY 90 DAYS SO THEY KNOW WHERE I LIVE--OLD RALPHIE HASNT MOVED IN YEARS!

AND WHY DO THEY HAVE TO TELL MY NEIGHBORS WHERE I LIVE, TOO?

BUT NOW THAT I AM HOME, I AM TRYING TO CATCH UP ON THE LIVEJOURNAL. I AM THINKING ABOUT MOVING OUT OF ARIZONA SOON, BUT TO WHERE, I HAVE NO IDEA. ANY SUGGESTIONS?

HUGS TO EVERYBODY, EXTRA HUGS TO THE LADYS, AND A SMACK TO THE HATERS!

-RBOOGIE
Current Mood: horny

(1 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

14th July 2003

12:49am: LED INTO TEMPTATION
HELP ME FOR I HAVE BEEN LED INTO THE LIGHT BY A BREAFKIST SANDWICH! THE HONOR AND THE GLORY THAT IS THE MCGRIDDLE! I EAT THEM AS OFTEN AS I CAN. THEY TASTE BEST WITH HORSERADISH, AND OF COURSE WASHED DOWN WITH SOME NANNER SF. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO TRY THEM!

MY LIFE IS SO COMPLETE.

BUT I NEED A HUG.

INSTEAD OF FRIENDSTER THEY SHOULD HAVE HUGSTER :)

=RALPH
Current Mood: horny

(3 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

3rd July 2003

12:55am:

FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time there has a young CHEESE FARMER named DEREK ;). He was DEADLY FUCKING in the PURPLE forest when he met RUNNY R BOOGIE, a run-away PROSTITOOT from the PUSSY Queen EDNA FOO.

DEREK ;) could see that RUNNY R BOOGIE was hungry so he reached into his TUPPERWARE and give him his HAIRY PIGS FEET. RUNNY R BOOGIE was thankful for DEREK ;)'s PIGS FEET, so he told DEREK ;) a very WRINKLY story about Queen EDNA FOO's daughter SUZEY LOO. How her mother, the PUSSY Queen EDNA FOO, kept her locked away in a WELFAIR OFFICE protected by a gigantic WILDABEAST, because SUZEY LOO was so STINKY.

DEREK ;) DOG. He vowed to RUNNY R BOOGIE the PROSTITOOT that he would save the STINKY SUZEY LOO. He would WASH the WILDABEAST, and take SUZEY LOO far away from her eveil mother, the PUSSY Queen EDNA FOO, and CHOCOLATE her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a GRUMBLY DIARRHEA and RUNNY R BOOGIE the PROSTITOOT began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic WILDABEAST from his story. PUSSY Queen EDNA FOO DEAD BABY out from behind a RECLINER and struck DEREK ;) dead. In the far off WELFAIR OFFICE you could hear a CLANG CLANG CLANG.

THE END.

Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com

(1 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

26th June 2003

1:39am: TIME FOR TELEBYEBYE
THIS ELECTION THING IS REALLY HARD ON MY BRAIN. I WANT TO WIN. I WANT THIN LIZZY TO PLAY MY EGGNAUGARATION, AND I WANT EDNAMETRIOSIS TO BE MY FIRST LADY.

BUT THEN I THINK ABOUT THE LOHJIZTICS: HOW CAN I AFFORD THE APPETEAZERS IF WEB BITCH IS THE HEAD OF THE FDA? AND WILL SHE INVITE CHICKY? WILL THAT FAT ASS CRPG_EMPUSAE SHOW UP AND STALK ALL THE LADIES? WILL ED DO MY HAIR? WILL LEON GIVE PEOPLE CRABS?

AND DEREK, CREAMPIE, I DIDN'T EXAGERATE MY NUMBERS--I'VE FUCKED EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON MY PROFILE!

(UNLESS YOU MEAN THEY WERE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME)

MAN I AM BORED. ANY SUGGESTIONS ON FUN STUFF TO DO? PEOPLE TO ADD TO MY FRIENDS LIST? COMMUNITIES TO READ? CAMPAIN ISSUES I SHOULD TALK ABOUT?

-R BOOGIE
Current Mood: horny

(2 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

24th June 2003

4:19pm:
Happy Deathday!
Your name:fingerbang
You will die on:Thursday, January 15, 2032
You will die of:Appendicitis
Username:
Created by Quill

(rub my belly?)

4:17pm:

fingerbang's LiveJournal Slut Stats
The below percentages indicate what fingerbang has done with the 59 people on his friends list!
met

88.1%
hugged

18.6%
dated

16.9%
seen topless

27.1%
seen naked

23.7%
made out

16.9%
oral sex

23.7%
fucked

96.6%
What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats?
Support our sponsor and help pay bandwidth costs: Looking for CHEAP perscription stimulant 'appetite suppressants'? What about Viagra so you can go all night long? Why go to the doctors office when you can order them online from us? Don't resort to the street! No prior perscription required!

(2 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

21st June 2003

10:18pm: THIS IS NOT A SCTHICK!
YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM GOING TO MAKE THE WIGGLES THE SECRETARIES OF DANCE PARTY PLANNING WHEN I BECUM PREZIDENT IN 06. THEY KNOW HOW TO DANCE, THEY HAVE CUTE LITTLE KIDS, AND IT'S FUN TO WATCH!

ALONE.

WITH THE SHADES DRAWN.

I SAW THAT EDNAMETRIOSIS AND MY LITTLE LAMB DEREKBETES ARE HOOKING UP AT THE INTERNATIONAL HOES AND PANDCAKES. I AM A BIT JEALOUS, BUT I KNOW THAT I WILL GET PHOTOS IF ANYTHING SAUCY HAPPENS :D

WHO ELSE WANTS AN OFFICE WHEN I GET ERECTED?

-R BOOGIE :D
Current Mood: horny

(1 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

20th June 2003

1:30pm: QUICK UPDATE MY LITTLE LOLLYPOPS HATCHELT SAYS HE WANTS TO GET WITH THE CAMPAIN. I DONT KNOW WHERE ILL PUT HIM YET BUT I THINK HE MAY BE THE PREZIDENTIAL FLUFFER. THATS ALL FOR NOW MORE SOON. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND VOTE RALPH IN 2006.
Current Mood: excited

(1 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

19th June 2003

5:20pm: HALE TO THE CHEEF
GREAT NEWS MY SHIFTY LITTLE CONSTITUENTS THE POST LAST NIGHT GOT ME THINKING AND IM HEAR TO ANNOUNCE MY HAT GOING INTO THE RING FOR THE 2006 PREZIDENTIAL ELECTION. IT SAID MY CALLING IS TO BE A POLITITIAN SO I'M GOING TO START NOW. IM GOING TO TAKE DUBYA DOWN TO THE UNDERGORUND AND TEACH HIM A LESSON ON HOW TO BE IN CHARGE. I DONT HAVE ANY IDEAS ON WHO MY RUNNING MATE SHOULD BE YET SO IF YOU THINK OF ANYONE LET ME KNOW. CRAZY CARL DOWN AT THE PON SHOP WILL BE MY SECRETARY OF DEFENCE. HES NUTS AND IF ANYONE MESSES WITH US HE WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO HES CRAFTY LIKE THAT. WEBBITCH CAN BE THE HEAD OF THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION AND SECRETARY OF AGROCULTURE SINCE SHE EATS EVERYTHING ANYWAY SHE CAN TELL US IF ITS OK OR NOT. AND I WONT BE A LIAR LIKE BUBBA CLINTON. WHEN I GET LITTLE RALPHIES HELMET SHINED YOU GOOD PEOPLE WILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. ALSO NO FIRST LADY IN THERE TO FOUL EVERYTHING UP OR TRYING TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT FROM ME THE PREZ. IF RALPH WANTS TO GET SOME TAIL ON THE EAST LAWN ILL BE DAMMNED IF SOME WHETHERED HAG IS GOING TO TURN ON THE SPRINKLERS AND START HUCKING ROLLED UP NEWSPAPERS AT ME. THE WASHINGTON POST IS A GODDAMNED BIG PAPER THAT WOULD HURT. SO ILL BE GETTIN ASS TWENTYFOR/SEVEN AND NO BALL AND CHAIN TO HOLD ME BACK.

OK WELL I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE THAT REAL QUICKLIKE AND LET YOU HEADS KNOW THAT THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT WITH RALPH BOOGERS IN CHARGE. CHECK BACK HERE FOR FUTURE ANNOUNCMINTS AS IT WILL BE PRETTY BUSY. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK BUDDIES AND VOTE BOOGERS IN 2006.
Current Mood: horny

(3 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

18th June 2003

5:38pm: WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT
fingerbang
Magic Number8
JobPolitician
PersonalityRainy Day
TemperamentPussy Cat
SexualIf I Have To
Likely To WinA Swimming Badge
Me - In A WordStartling
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack



ITS AMAZING HOW WELL THIS DOOHICKEY KNOWS ME. I FEEL LOVED. MEOW.
Current Mood: horny

(rub my belly?)

13th June 2003

2:15am: A LETTER TO MY LOVER
HEY BABY, I'VE BEEN THINKING. IN ORDER FOR US TO START OVER, I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD CHANGE YOUR NAME.

SO FROM NOW ON, I WILL BE CALLING YOU EDNAMETRIOSIS. ISN'T THAT SEXY AND FUN?

TALK TO YOU LATER. NO DOGS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD WILL BE SAFE WITH YOUR SEXY ASS ON THE LOOSE!

RALPH

PS: THIS POST WAS FOR EDNA, NOT DEREK. ALTHOUGH DEREK, IF YOU WANT IN ON A HOT LOVE TRIANGLE, WE CAN CALL YOU DEREKTHERIA.
Current Mood: horny

(2 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

10th June 2003

10:35pm: IM REGULAR AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW MAN THAT WAS A ROUGH THREE DAYS. MY MOM CAME OVER AND STAYED WITH ME BECAUSE I HAD SOME ANAL PROBLEMS. I THINK I ATE A BAD BATCH OF CHILLI DOGS DOWN AT CRAZY UNCLE ELMERS WEINER INSANITY BECAUSE I WAS ON THE CAN FOR THREE STRAIGHT DAYS. AND WHEN I SAY THREE STRAIGHT DAYS I MEAN IT. MY MOM GOT ME AN BLOW UP TUBE TO SIT ON SO MY BUT WOULDNT GET NUM AND TWO 24 PACKS ON SCOTT TP (I HAVE 3 ROLLS LEFT) AND I DIDNT GET OFF THE POT FOR 72 HOURS. I EVEN SLEPT THERE BECUASE I WAS AFRAID ID TAKE A POOP WHILE I WAS ASLEEP. MY MOM BROUGHT ME FOOD SO I DIDNT HAVE TO GET UP SHE EVEN WHEELED THE TV IN THERE SO I WOULDNT GET BORED. SHE GOT MAD AT ME BECAUSE I MADE HER USE A BUCKET BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GETTING OFF THAT TOYLET BECAUSE I COULD HAVE EXPLODED AT ANY SECOND. THATS THE LAST TIME I GO FOR THE 14 FOR $4 DEAL. WHEW.
Current Mood: horny

(4 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

7th June 2003

3:01am: AHOY HOY!
WOW, SOMEHOW I ENDED UP ON A TRIP, AND I ENDED UP IN OHIO WITH FRIENDS! MY BUDDY JACK FROM FRIENDSTER IS A TRUCK DRIVER, AND HE STOPPED IN ARIZONA. SOMEHOWI ENDED UP IN HIS BIG RIG, AND THEN SOMEHOW I ENDED UP IN OHIO. I HAVE FAMILY IN CLEVELNAD, BUT I WAS SOMEWHERE AROUND CINCYNATTIE. I THOUGHT ABOUT ALL MY LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS BUT I DIDNT GET TO SEE ANYBODY BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO WORK MY UNCLE BUB'S COMPUTER.

I'M HOME NOW! MORE POSTS SOON! TAKE IT EASY BUDDIES!~
Current Mood: horny

(5 touched my fat | rub my belly?)

1st June 2003

2:09am: *swoon*
hunky wunky
Current Mood: VERY HORNY

(rub my belly?)

31st May 2003

1:53am: START PACKING YOURE BAGS PEPPERGURL, DADDY'S COMING HOME!
peppergurl 90%
navarreankh 84%
simplysummer 78%
crpg_empusae 72%
sparklegrrl 72%
webbitch 69%
leon_phelps 69%
lost_and_alone6 58%
How compatible with me are YOU?


AND THAT FAT KILT WEARING FUCK CRPG EMPUSAE BLOCKED ME FROM COMMENTING IN HIS JOURNAL ANYMORE! THAT MAKES ME SAD :( BUT IT ALSO MAKES ME THINK THAT UNDERNEATH HIS MANSKIRT, THERE ARE NO BALLS! THAT'S WHY HE HAS TO STALK LADIES ON THE INTERNET!

(rub my belly?)

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